• Self trust: I commit to being mindful of what I want to spend that day. I am mindful of what / when I spend.

• Gratitude: 10 things you are grateful for at the end of every day. BE SPECIFIC.

• Self regulation: daily keep on top of my spreadhseet. Keep up with self soothing practices.

• Disclipline: non negotiables:
  wim hof, spreadsheet, 4 work outs x week, tennis,

• Respect Money: consciously flip it my mind.  Money mantras:

• “I am worthy of financial abundance.”

  • Reminds you that you deserve wealth and financial stability.

• “Money flows to me easily and effortlessly.”

  • Helps shift your mindset to one where money comes to you naturally.

• “I am open to receiving all the wealth life has to offer me.”

  • Encourages openness to new opportunities and financial growth.

• “I attract wealth, prosperity, and success.”

  • Focuses on attracting positive financial outcomes into your life.

• “I am financially free.”

  • Reinforces the idea that you can achieve financial independence.

• “I am a magnet for money.”

  • This mantra strengthens your belief that money and opportunities come your way.

• “I handle large sums of money with ease.”

  • Helps you prepare mentally to manage wealth confidently.

• “Every dollar I spend comes back to me multiplied.”

  • Encourages a mindset of abundant return, not loss.

• “I have a positive relationship with money and use it to better my life and the lives of others.”

  • Cultivates a healthy, generous attitude toward finances.

• How do my money beliefs impact the way I handle finances in my marriage?

• How does paying for everything make me feel? Do I feel empowered, stressed, appreciated, or something else?

• What fears or concerns arise when I think about talking to my wife about money?

• Have I ever tried to bring up the topic of money with my wife? If so, what happened, and how did I feel afterward?

• What are the possible reasons I avoid asking my wife how much she earns? How do I feel about not knowing?

• How does the current financial arrangement affect the balance of power in our relationship?

• Do I feel that the financial dynamics in my marriage contribute to feelings of control, dependence, or fairness? Why or why not?

• How do I believe this lack of financial transparency is affecting my relationship with my wife emotionally and practically?

• What assumptions am I making about my wife’s feelings or perspective on money? How can I validate or challenge these assumptions?

• What would it look like to have an open and honest conversation with my wife about our finances? What feelings come up when I imagine this conversation?

• What do I need in order to feel safe and confident in discussing money with my wife? What steps can I take to create that sense of safety?

• If my wife and I openly discussed money, how do I imagine our relationship might change? What positive outcomes could emerge?

• What boundaries, agreements, or systems would I like to have in place regarding finances in our marriage?

• What is one small step I can take this week to initiate a financial conversation with my wife?

• How will I approach this conversation with love, curiosity, and openness, rather than from a place of fear or frustration?

• How do you handle money?

• How do you want to handle money?

• What was it like for you growing up around money?

• What did you mum teach you about money?

• What did your dad teach you about money?

• What is your most painful money experience?

• What is your most joyful money experience?

• What are your financial fears?

• What are your financial goals?

• How did you feel about your socio economic class growing up ?

• What are you most proud of in your relationship with money?

• What do I appreciate about you most about money?

post meetings

• STEP 1: SEE THEIR INNER CHILD /ACKNOWLEDGE how they feel (this will lower defences and make the person feel seen & receptive.

• STEP 2: INSERT BOUNDARY - MAKE IT ABOUT YOURSELF- if you attack this will make them feel guild and Shame (the two emotions that stand in the way of change).

• STEP 3: reconnect / reconcile / olive branch. "I really want us to talk about what you're feeling, why don't we go and see someone on X to talk about it together?" "how can we tackle this differently next time so that we don't trigger each other / what do you need?"

boundaries take time when you're not used to it. BE PATIENT! the book I've recommended, The Dance of Anger, is a great addition to this.